psychology

Falling with Grace into Winter

~ TracyMarrs ~ Leave a comment

As a mythologist, I tried to connect this article to the stories of an Algonquin bear hunt that explains why the leaves change colors in the fall or of Persephone’s yearly return to the Underworld that causes the seasons to shift, but I was more inspired from simply watching the animals and trees in our mountain community. The animals are not out as much, but even though I do not see them, they are busy making nests and storing food. Their work is not as obvious as their spring and summer activity, but it is important for their survival. I also noticed that the trees are turning colors and beginning to lose their leaves. Their fruit is a memory of late summer and a distant promise for next year. The animals and trees are focusing resources on the basics and preservation. It became obvious, to me, that I needed to fall back too and reorganize my mindset for the transition of the seasons.

You see, recently, I had been feeling out-of-sorts. I have felt more tired, less productive, and frustrated with myself. Regular seasonal mountain things, like power outages or road closures, felt more challenging and I was losing my patience more quickly than I should. I could not figure out what was wrong with me, but then, I realized – it is fall! Even though I have lived through enough years on the mountain to remember that the seasons are dramatic here, I forgot what those seasonal transitions mean for our day-to-day lives.

I was trying to live my life by summer standards and feeling myself falling short. While I filled my home with fall colors and good-smelling fall foods; I had not prepared myself for the fall. Instead of resisting with frantic attempts to be outwardly productive that is more suitable for summer; I needed to allow myself to do less, to rest, and to embrace the natural, more domestic nature of autumn. We physically retreat inside during the cold, dark days of winter, but we also need to give ourselves time to stop and go inside to ourselves during this time. Fall, and especially winter, are times for restorative stillness, reflection, and planning.

By researching for this article, by quietly watching nature, and reflecting to write – I learned to give myself grace and regain my patience. I learned by watching the trees that it is not only okay to release what does not serve us at this time, but also, that it can be beautiful to observe. The animals showed me that it is proper, not selfish, to focus resources on the home and that activities do not need to be obvious for them to be valuable. I learned to take time to rest, to reflect, and grow the seeds for spring.

Thank you for taking your time to read my ramblings. For more about the Algonquin myth of the bear hunt and the changing of the leaves in fall or the story of Demeter, Persephone, and the reason for the seasons according to Greek mythology, please listen to the links below.

Bear hunt
Persephone

Because of you, Ms. Susan

~ TracyMarrs ~ Leave a comment

Because of you,
my children learned to read;
they learned their math and abc’s.

You watched them struggle.
You helped them grow.

I don’t know if we ever told you so,
but we love you more than you will ever know.

You were my children’s teacher,
but even more than that.

You’ve been so very much more
to them, to me, and our family.

Because of you
I learned to be a better mother.

Because of you
I’ve become a better friend.
A better person for my community,
for myself, my body, my children, and
every person I can.

You’ve taught us through your patience,
through your laughter, honesty, and love.

You’ve taught us all these past five years
you’ve been teaching us all along.
You walked with us through the heartaches,
through the confusion, and the tears.
You’ve walked with us so gently,
right beside us through the years.

Because of you my children learned to read;
they learned their math and abc’s.

But because of you, we all moved forward.
Because of you, we have learned to THRIVE!
Because you walked us through our darkness
Because of you, we are truly alive.

Because you are so much more than a teacher,
so much more even than a friend.

Please always remember,
our dear Ms. Susan;
when you see my children succeeding,
when you see my family smile,
when you see our life-long learning,
It’s because you are the awesome you that you are,
Ms. Susan, it was all because of you.

From fishing to bean soup

~ TracyMarrs ~ Leave a comment

The time grandpa lost his patience with me

My grandpa was a kind and patient man. He was slow to anger and quick to smile with us kids – but there was a time he lost his patience with me, a time with Jeff, and a time his dad lost it with him that I want to share. These stories have continued to be told in our family as the few examples of times when grandpa’s patience wore thin.

I don’t know when my grandpa started to take me fishing by myself. I must have been about my kids’ ages (7-10) when I became a good fishing buddy. We enjoyed fishing the Santa Ana River in Southern California together.

My kids when they were little, at the Santa Ana

I was a city kid. My dad didn’t take me fishing and my mom and stepdad do not fish. It was grandpa that introduced me to the river, that taught me about the currents, and that showed me where to cast my line so it wouldn’t scare the fish, but flow naturally so they would bite.

Grandpa also shared his love for photography with me, specifically black and white photography. One winter day, grandpa thought it would be fun to take me to the aspens to take black and white pictures in the snow and catch a little fishing on the way home.

Like I said, I was a city kid, wearing city clothes. A long sleeve shirt, light jacket, jeans, and tennis shoes. If you are unaware of how to dress for a day in the snow and at the icy river – it is not jeans and certainly not tennis shoes.

The day started out beautifully. The aspens were the perfect subject for our pictures – especially in the snow. Soon however, my feet started to hurt and I wanted to go back to the warm car, but I was a trooper and I didn’t complain. I don’t think I even had gloves on – I was clueless.

We had time to warm up in the car from the aspens to the river. It was a pleasant drive as grandpa told me stories and we watched the snow covered mountains and trees pass the window.

As we walked out to the river, I hesitated. I knew the further we walked out, the further we had to walk back – and I was still cold. But, grandpa loved fishing, he wasn’t going to let a little ice on the creek stop him (he had full waterproof waders on). His enthusiasm was contagious as we got to the river to fish.

It was cold – but it was also very pretty. Until I slipped on one of the icy rocks in the river. I fell – hard – into ice, cold water. That was it, I had enough and wanted to go NOW! Grandpa was concerned but I was okay and we hadn’t fished long. I was crying and making lots of noise – between my splash and noise, he wasn’t catching any fish anyways and we hurried to his green Ford Explorer and cranked up the heater.

It wasn’t major, but I know my grandpa was irritated with me that day. His tone was different, his actions sharper – he has lost his patience with me. I felt like a fussy baby, not the tough oldest grandkid of Jack Jones. I was wet and cold and at that moment couldn’t even enjoy the beauty of the snow – it was the only time I remember grandpa becoming irritated by me.

The time he lost his patience with Uncle Jeff

Grandpa told me a story about a time he lost his patience with my Uncle Jeff when he was just a boy. They were walking the river, fishing. My uncle, being a small boy was lagging behind, I’m sure, and his arm brushed against a purple thistle. If you’ve never touched a thistle, it stings! The sensation is similar to how I imagine a hundred burning pins. There is an easy way to ease the pain – you either hold the affected area in the cold water or put cold river mud on it. At the time, my grandpa was already annoyed with Jeff.

Maybe grandpa didn’t know how bad a thistle sting could be but after seeing why Jeff was crying, my grandpa did something uncharacteristic – he lost his patience and got angry. He told Jeff that those flowers didn’t hurt that much and grabbed the thistle firmly into his hand.

Purple thistle
Illustration by Ben Levitt

Now, I’ve touched thistles plenty of times, but never grabbed it to were the needles would press into my skin. Grandpa told the story about how his anger made him foolish and the pain made his eyes well up with tears. He told me it was one of the worst pains he ever felt and it was even worse because it was a pain he deserved because it came from anger at his hurt son. He told me the story to teach me not to touch thistles but also to warn me not to let the anger win.

The time grandpa made his dad swear

I never knew my great grandparents except through stories, but my great grandfather was a good, kind, and gentle man. He was a farmer that prayed and often shed a tear when he took an animals’ life for food. My grandpa was raised a Quaker and according to him, his father never cussed or swore but did have two ‘Yankee curse words’ and I want to share a time of when my grandpa made his kind and gentle father so mad – he said them both.

Grandpa as an adult was mischievous and a bit of a trickster so I can only imagine what sort of fun he must have been as a young boy. One time, he and his friend got the idea to trick his dad. They got a bucket, filled it full of water, and balanced it on the wedged door his dad would be coming through and then, hid and waited.

When great grandpa walked through the door, the bucket did not turn over and instead of having a bucket of water spill out on his head, he had a bucket full of water fall directly, with full force onto his head – and then spill on the floor.

My grandpa said he could still remember the sickening sound of the bucket hitting his father’s head and the extreme sudden remorse he felt. He had only meant to play a joke, not seriously injure him.

Little boy grandpa and his friend stayed hidden out of fear as his father’s face grew red from the neck up and tears rolled out of his eyes down to the floor and he very quietly, but with great anger said “Rats … BEAN SOUP!”

And that is the only time my grandpa said he remembered his father cursing.

I found this image when I typed in rats and bean soup. Kind of funny (it was with a story of a soup company that made rat meatballs which isn’t as funny) but I liked it enough to add as a combo of the swear words – rats and bean soup.

The lack of Aphrodite in “The Sopranos”

~ TracyMarrs ~ 2 Comments

The Sopranos was a series directed by David Chase about a fictional character named Tony Soprano played by James Gandolfini.  In the show, Tony is the head of the New Jersey crime family.  His position should make him Zeus, the boss and in control but the series shows that Tony is really a broken Zeus.   In the first episode, he suddenly passes out while bar-b-quing making a dramatic explosion which leads him to go to the hospital for a series of tests (19:00-19:45).  This event also coincides with the loss of the ducks that will be discussed later in the paper.  When the tests conclude that nothing is physically wrong with Tony, he secretly begins therapy to attempt to end the panic attacks and regain control in his life.

For Tony, therapy is complicated.  He doesn’t see himself as needing therapy and he is resistant to the idea of therapy.  “They said it was a panic attack ’cause the blood work and neurological work came back negative. And they sent me here” (2:55-3:05). He is reluctant to seek therapy not only because in his line of work, therapy can be seen as a betrayal of confidence within the organization but also because he sees therapy as a crutch for weak minded people.  He thinks that talking about feelings makes him unmanly.  For a man that not only wants to but needs to represent Zeus, being weak and unmanly is unacceptable and leads to self-loathing. Therapy is not the cure for Tony, he needs Aphrodite to give him control and ease his sadness.  Even though he is Zeus and he has a Hera, he needs Aphrodite, especially in his business where he makes his money off of thievery, the selling of sex and pleasure, and gambling.  These trades need Aphrodite to balance the brutality, without beauty, a strip club is an ugly, sad place.  Without something beautiful to protect, violence is also ugly and only for the gain of power.  Tony is desperately seeking to have some beauty, something to protect, something to civilize his rage but as he seeks for his Aphrodite, he becomes more and more depressed with the frustration that he will not ever attain her.

Tony is diagnosed with depression; rage turned inward, and begins the combination of Prozac and therapy.  Even though the show spans several years, for this paper, the focus will be primarily the first episode.  The first episode is crucial to any television series because it is when the audience first “meets” the characters.  Traditionally, mafia shows focus on the men, the mobsters, but “The Sopranos” also includes a strong female presence.  However, as strong as the female presence is in the show, the lack of Aphrodite is just as strong.

In the series, Tony is surrounded by women: his wife, mother, daughter, sisters, strippers, girlfriends, and therapist.   With all of the women that appear in the series over the years, Aphrodite does try to make an appearance but she is always just out of reach for Tony. After discussing some of the women in the show, I will use four points about the nature of Aphrodite that Dr. Paris makes in her book “Pagan Grace” to show that while Tony’s profession does not lend itself to happiness and well-being, it seems that Tony’s biggest problem is the lack of Aphrodite in his life.  Dr. Paris explains in detail in writing how the loss of Aphrodite leads to depression but I liked this quote from class.  “She is the smile personified” (Paris lecture). Aphrodite is connected to civilization, flowers, and of course, sex and its purpose.  By showing how these four elements are represented, depression, civilized nature, flowers, and sex in the episode, I plan to show Aphrodite is not only absent but it is made a point of the show to demonstrate her absence.

Lots of women but no Aphrodites

After opening credits, the series begins with a shot of a naked female statue in the therapist’s office.  She is metal, hard and cold, not in the least bit sexual and Tony appears uncomfortable. Next, the first female in the series is Dr. Jennifer Melfi, played by Lorraine Bracco; Tony’s therapist enters the scene.  She is attractive but she is not Aphrodisiac, more Athenian.  She is wearing a tan pantsuit and puts her glasses on to show she is in therapist mode. She keeps her arms and legs crossed while they speak, further distancing herself from Tony and Aphrodite (1:40-3:50).  Of the important women in Tony’s life, Dr. Melfi is the closest to Aphrodite.  He does experience a longing for her but she rebuffs his attentions.  Even in her personal life, Dr. Melfi struggles in the realm of Aphrodite. She is not in touch with the Aphrodite inside herself; she is always in the realm of the mind.  She needs Aphrodite as much as Tony.

The second and third women are Tony’s daughter and wife, respectively.  In a scene at the Soprano home, Tony is excited about a family of ducks that made their home in the family pool.  This is one place Tony shows real joy but it is a break from his archetype, he walks into the pool wearing his robe, the reaction from the others shows how it is out of his character (5:15-6:04).  It seems to make them uncomfortable.  Also, as we see by the end of the episode, the ducks, just like Aphrodite are impermanent.  As they walk into the house, his daughter and wife want things from him.  His daughter, Meadow Soprano, played by Jamie Spiegler, informs him that she and her friend are late for school.  Next, after a brief exchange to his young son, we meet Tony’s wife, Carmela, played by Edie Falco.  Together, Tony and Carmela make an excellent representation of Zeus and Hera.  In the first shot we get of Carmela with Tony, her body posture is tense, almost aggressive.  She talks to him about familial, social obligations and makes a cutting remark about his extramarital affairs that is so subtle, it can almost be overlooked  (6:50-7:16) but later in the episode, the extramarital affairs and loss of love is shown very clearly when Tony is in the hospital for tests (20:25-21:45).  In many of the scenes with Carmela in this episode her priest is also in the scene (18:30-18:40).  Carmela while not unfaithful like Tony has an unnaturally close relationship with her young, attractive priest that Tony insinuates may be seen as inappropriate.  She wears fine clothes and jewelry but she is fierce in her ability to protect her position as Hera.  She protects her family but is not loving toward her husband.  When she hears a noise outside, she does not cower or look for help from the priest who is at her house watching movies, she grabs a large gun and walks outside to confront the cause of the noise, the daughter, Meadow (25:00-25:21).

In this first episode Meadow’s character is still not clearly defined because she is still figuring out her own place in the world.  She is young and she battles with her mother for independence.  Later in the series, we see Meadow try to find herself by trying on a variety of archetypes.  She eventually becomes a college student interested first in pediatric medicine, then finally law. Eventually, in the series she does bring Tony some glimpse of the goddess and mild joy but in the first episode, she is moody and causes tension within the family.

The last and most dynamic woman to be introduced in the episode is Livia, Tony’s elderly mother.  Dr. Melfi says that Tony describes her as a helpless old lady but also as a larger than life character.  While she is Tony’s mother, there is nothing of Demeter in Livia and definitely an absence of Aphrodite.  Her house is old fashioned, Tony has to knock several times before we hear the half fearful, half angry response from inside and she unlocks the locks to allow Tony entrance to his childhood home. She tries to feed him and when he refuses, she gives him food anyway.  The conflict between Tony and his mother arises that he wants to have her move to a retirement community and she doesn’t want anything to do with it.  She is completely resistant to any kind of change and shows major signs of depression herself.  Her house is dark and stuffy.  All the windows and doors are closed and locked.  Her hair is disheveled, her robe is misbuttoned, and she is wearing worn, old styled slippers.  She seems to be a Hestia figure but she is losing her capabilities for living in her own home.  She rejects change and has an extreme fear of the outside world (14:46-18:30).  Now to contradict the picture of helpless, fearful old woman, we learn that Livia also embodies another archetype.  She reveals herself as one of the puppet masters of the mafia family.  To most, she seems like just another elderly woman but it is her cunning that makes things happen within the family.  Her cunning and position are only introduced in this episode but it is already clear to the audience that while she appears to be a Hestia, she is actually Athena in disguise.  While she can no longer manage to make herself a meal without a catastrophe, she is able to plot and scheme all the way to trying to have her own son murdered.   She is a major player and skillful manipulator.  If any person in the series would benefit from Aphrodite, it would be Livia.  It would go against everything she is to have Aphrodite in her life – she is the complete opposite and absence of Aphrodite.  In fact, the archetype that Livia fits is that of the anti-Aphrodite, she is angry, loveless, depressed, and cruel.

The important women in Tony’s life are lacking Aphrodite but even the setting lacks the goddess.  Tony works out of two places, an Italian meat market/deli and a strip club, The Bada Bing.  In this episode there is a scene where the guys are having an informal type meeting in the club.  It is bright outside and not busy in the club.  The men are seated at a small table drinking; they are not in the same room as the dancers.  They have a view of the dancers but they are turned away from them, they don’t notice them.  When the waitress does come by with drinks, she is seen as an interruption and nuisance.  For Tony and his crew, these women are not beautiful or even worth looking at; they are simply another form of income.  The women are topless and dancing but their movements seem somewhat mechanic and out of tune with the music, like they are bored or drugged.  Also, they are not really attractive but all this doesn’t matter because no one in the room is looking at any of the dancers anyway.  Even in a place where the goal is to arouse men, the focus is not on the beauty or sexual attractiveness, it is about profit. This is a place of commerce, not beauty or grace.

The Unattainable Aphrodites

Aphrodite does attempt to enter the show.  In episode twelve, we get a glimpse of hope for happiness for Tony.  His life seems like it is adjusting with the therapy.  Tony has encounters with a beautiful, Aphrodisiac woman named Isabella.  In the episode, we learn that she is visiting from Italy and staying with the neighbors.  She is graceful and attractive and Tony enjoys her company.  The problem with this Aphrodite is that she turns out to not be real; she only existed in Tony’s mind.   Dr. Melfi and Tony conclude that Isabella is the result of the need to alter Tony’s medication.  It is interesting that Aphrodite appears here as not only fictional but a result of anti-depression medication. She is beautiful and graceful and just like a flower, impermanent.

Another brush Tony has in the series is Adriana, is Tony’s nephew, Christopher’s, fiancé.  She is completely unattainable to Tony because of her relationship to his nephew.  In episode fifty-seven, Tony talks about his desire to be with the young, pretty Adriana to Dr. Melfi.  In the end, Tony recognizes that his desires can’t be acted on as it would destroy his relationship with his nephew and wouldn’t actually be possible.  In the end, it is just like Isabella, the Aphrodisiac experience only exists in the mind.  For a twist, Tony and Adriana end up in a car accident under questionable circumstances.  The nephew and other members of the crew believe there may have been a sexual encounter and Tony has to deal with fallout from an unrequited encounter with Aphrodite, the closest he ever comes to the elusive goddess.

Depression and the lack of Aphrodite

Tony suffers from depression; he is a broken Zeus.  His world is filled with ugliness and violence. He lacks beauty, civilized nature, and love.  Through the series, Tony battles depression and the fallout from being a mob boss with the perceived weakness of having a mental illness.  Even though Tony is depicted in scenarios where he enjoys being extremely violent and cruel (10:50-11:00); in reality the audience is made to have sympathy for him. The lack of Aphrodite, the lack of beauty and civilization causes Tony to continue to pursue the goddess but he never seems to reach her. This frustration causes him to have more and more sadness and self-pity.

Aphrodite, the civilizer

The world in which Tony lives is untamed.  It is crude and uncivilized.  Men settle conflicts with force and laws are regularly broken, not only as a rule of business but just in everyday situations.  When Aphrodite is present, she must be protected.  In order for Aphrodite to be protected, we must have rules and we must follow those rules.  Tony is quick to anger; he uses violence to resolve issues in most situations.  He is fierce and dangerous; he is arguably an Ares outside of the family setting.  Ares seduces Aphrodite and protects her but Tony is an Ares without an Aphrodite to protect.  Instead of being civilized and living in a way to protect the beauty of the world, Tony and his crew cause violence and destruction in almost every episode.

The Garden State

It is interesting that the setting for the show is New Jersey, the Garden State.  Gardens are cultivated and organized.  They are the safe version of Aphrodite.  This combines the beauty and impermanence of flowers with the civilizing nature of Aphrodite.  This is not Tony’s New Jersey.  Tony’s New Jersey is not safe, it is not civilized, and it is not beautiful; it is hard and gritty.  His New Jersey is introduced in the opening credits of the series.

The show starts with the view from inside the car.  The car is crossing the bridge into city.  Everything is hard and industrial.  The scenery is old, dirty and dilapidated.  Tony is driving the car.  He is smoking a cigar and we see the progression from the New Jersey turnpike to Tony’s home.  “The New Jersey Turnpike, at least the northern part, is an adventure. Its abstract expressionist shapes, strange lines and angles, concentration of various transport, kinetic energy and tumult, wildlife and history, the things you see from it, its concrete and iron and rubber, its noise and smells and speed, make it a thing of gritty beauty.” (HBO)  This is a good description for Tony’s New Jersey.  It is also most certainly a place that lacks Aphrodite.  It lacks her beauty, it lacks her grace, and it lacks her civilizing nature (0:00-1:39).

Sex in Sopranos

The last important connection with the series and Aphrodite’s absence is with the representation of sex in the series.  As I have previously discussed, Tony works out of a strip club.  The women are treated as objects for sexual gratification but none of them are in any way Aphrodite.  The sexual acts with the strippers are for commerce, they aren’t joyful, graceful, and certainly are not portrayed as beautiful or loving.  The characters do not contain Aphrodite so neither does their sex.  Carmela, Hera, has sexual obligations to Tony but that is not aphrodisiac, it is more out of duty than love or passion.  When we see Tony in sexual encounters outside the marriage they are usually more violent than beautiful.  Every woman he dates is psychologically damaged and depressed.  The women all lack Aphrodite and end up doing Tony more damage than good, leaving him more depressed and further from the goddess.

This wraps up Tony’s sad state through the series, there is no love, no beauty, no grace, no compassion, no tenderness; basically no Aphrodite for Tony.  While telling the story of a New Jersey crime boss we also learn what it means to lose a goddess.  Her absence is felt through the entire series.  The audience, while maybe unable to verbalize it as such root for the violent, sad man to have some Aphrodite in his life; an ease to his suffering.  Tony can’t attain his goal of attaining Aphrodite, if Aphrodite appeared, things would be righted and there wouldn’t be a show.  The only way the story could continue would be for the goddess to keep alluding Tony.  As Tony would say, there is no happy ending for a mob boss.

Works Cited

Paris, Ginette. “Aphrodite, Ares, and Athena.” First Session. Pacifica Graduate Institute, Carpentaria, Ca. 4 Jan. 2015. Lecture.

Paris, Ginette. Pagan Meditations: The Worlds of Aphrodite, Artemis, and Hestia. Dallas, Tex.: Spring Publications, 1986. Print.

The Sopranos. Perf. James Gandolfini, Edie Falco, and Lorraine Bracco. HBO Home Video, 2001. DVD.

Page, Jeffrey. “The Sopranos.” HBO: Homepage. HBO. Web. 24 Mar. 2015. <http://www.hbo.com/the-sopranos#/&gt;.

 

 

Parvati, Kali, and Balance

~ TracyMarrs ~ Leave a comment

Siva, god of destruction, is associated as the consort or husband of Devi, the Mother-goddess, who is represented in the form of several goddesses. Two Devi representations that stand out are Parvati and Kali because they are so very different, especially in the way they relate with Siva. Parvati is a calming force for Siva while Kali incites him to greater destruction. Parvati attempts to civilize Siva, to change him, but Kali is even more uncivilized than Siva so through their relationship another, more civilized, Siva is revealed. Studying the myths and relationships with these three deities demonstrates both duality and balance.

Western perspective and confusion

These myths and information about the deities can be very confusing, the more information that is uncovered, the more confusing it becomes. Part of the confusion, for me, was from looking at these myths through western eyes. Zimmerman warns about reading these myths through western perspective, but every person uses their background knowledge when reading so it is almost impossible not to incorporate your own cultural perspective in any reading. The other part of the confusion is the fluidity of the characters. Parvati is identified as the reincarnation of Sati, Siva’s first wife, but she is also being represented as Durga, Rudrani, Uma, and Kali, entirely different goddesses, but in truth, all of these goddesses are aspects of Devi. How can one deity be so many different goddesses; such extremely different personalities? I believe the way to reconcile this is to look at our own natures, are we as individuals easy to label? Are we calm or wild, happy or sad, or funny or serious?  The truth lies that we identify somewhere in the middle, we are at times happy, at times sad – we are complex beings and so are the gods and goddesses in the Hindu religion. In the western world, it is expected for religious personalities to be easy to label and understand, not fluid; they are extreme. However, to a person who understands the nature of duality and the complexity of whole characters, it is understood that no one is all this or that but a mixture of qualities, this is what is known as duality. What the myths show with these two consorts is a need for balance of these extremes. Siva must be at times destructive, as is his nature, but at times he must also be calm to allow for Brahma and Visnu to create and preserve. With Parvati, we see her as the cause of balance but with Kali, we actually see Siva as the one that calming force for the wild goddess.

Another misconception that arises with looking at the myths with the western perspective is that the Devi goddess is not as important as her consort god, Siva. Since Parvati doesn’t have any history separate from Siva, she would be seen as less than to westerners. “Her identity and nature and nearly all her mythological deeds are defined or acted out vis-à-vis her consort/husband, the great ascetic god Siva” (Kinsley, Hindu Goddesses 35). In fact, she was reincarnated specifically so that Siva could have a child that was necessary to save the world. In reality, she is equal to or more powerful than Siva. She is the only one powerful enough to make Siva change his mind. It is implied that “the great male gods are entirely dependent on the Devi for their strength and power and that if she withdraws her power, they are impotent and helpless” (Kinsley, Hindu Goddesses 137). In the westerner’s mind, it is he who does the action that is important, not the one that inspires it. The mind can be much more powerful than the body. What westerners do not often recognize that both have power and importance; it is about balance.
Who is Siva?

Siva, pronounced and often written as Shiva, is one of the three gods responsible for the creation, upkeep, and destruction of the world. Brahma is the creator of the universe, Visnu is the preserver, and Siva is the destroyer. He must destroy the illusions and imperfections of the world so we can have positive change. Often, destruction is thought of in negative terms but it is necessary to have destruction in order to have creation, it is balance.

Siva contains many contradictory elements and an untamed passion; he can be seen as both good and evil. His behavior is often extreme, especially when without Parvati. “Paradox is the very heart of Saiva mythology” (O’Flaherty 300-337). He is an ascetic that abstains from all worldly pleasures while at other times; he is a hedonist that gives in to his every whim. “Although the apparently contradictory strains of Siva’s nature may well have originated from different times and places, they have resulted in a composite deity who is unquestionably whole to his devotees; this is why the Hindus accept and even glorify what might otherwise seem a meaningless patchwork, a crazy quilt of metaphysics” (O’Flaherty 300-337). It is Siva’s contradictions that make him whole and more realistic because upon reflection, it is apparent that humans also have contradictions and this makes Siva more relatable. The way Siva achieves balance is through his marriage with Sati and later her reincarnation, Parvati. “Together they are fertile, generative, and equilibrating, but apart they are potentially destructive” (Handelman 133-170). Siva also achieves balance with Kali, however with Kali; he is the calm to her destructive nature, showing that Siva contains both the wild and out of control as well as stabilizing aspects in his nature. The inclusion of the Kali myths demonstrate that Siva contains duality and balance within his own personality.

The Devi Goddesses, Parvati and Kali

Since Parvati is the reincarnation of Sati, the two are often seen as the same goddess; two lives of the same goddess. Parvati, Sati, comes back to the world for the purpose of bearing Siva’s child to the world. There are many versions of the myth of Parvati and how she becomes mother to Siva’s offspring. This is a synopsis of the history of Parvati: there was a demon named Taraka terrorizing the world and the only way this demon could be defeated and balance restored was by the offspring of Siva. Since Siva did not have any children and had no interest in having any sort of family, Sati was convinced to return to the world to persuade Siva to have an offspring. Parvati gains Siva’s admiration by performing tapas, cutting herself off from the world and mastering her physical needs. When they are finally married and make love, they are interrupted and Siva’s seed is spilled outside Parvati. It is eventually deposited into the Ganges River and becomes the child Karttikeya, also called Skanda and other names. He returns to his parents and saves the world and restores balance by defeating the demon Taraka. Parvati raises Karttikeya as her own son but she also creates a second son, Ganesa, on her own. The reason Parvati decides to have the second child is to guard for her so she can have privacy. When Siva returns, Ganesa does not allow him in and Siva cuts his head off. Parvati demands that Siva brings their son back to life so Siva grabs the head of an elephant and places it on the boy’s body. The complete family is Siva, Parvati, and their two sons, each created individually by one of the parents.

Even though Parvati is the daughter of the Himalayas and lures Siva out of his ascetic isolation by becoming an ascetic herself, she values the household and society. She “represents the beauty and attraction of worldly, sexual life, which cherishes the house society rather than the forest, the mountains, or ascetic life” (Kinsley, Hindu Goddesses 46). The couple represents the tension between the ideals of the ascetic and the householder. Siva has no desire for family or in settling down but Parvati desires, in fact is born, to marry Siva and have children. “Contact with his properly cultured spouse seems to connect him with ordinary social reality and temporarily domesticates him” (Yocum 119). While Parvati does partially domesticate Siva, she does not fully succeed in achieving her desire for a “normal” life. For instance, Parvati desires a proper home but they never do . Also, Siva retains his wild, ascetic appearance, and continues some of his wild behavior. Since Siva is a god of many extremes, it is Parvati’s role to be the tamer of these extremes, both ascetic and sexual and create balance. Siva never fully gives in to her desires as a householder and she never goes back to asceticism so they remain in a constant state of tension or balance.

The relationship of Parvati and Siva is a case for opposites attracting, duality and balance, but Kali and Parvati are also a representation of duality and balance. While Parvati hardly has any independent history, Kali is rarely associated with her male consort, Siva. Parvati is the householder that desires children yet Kali is often depicted as virginal and violent. Kali prefers the battlefield, Parvati prefers the home. Parvati and Kali may appear to be opposites but Kali is actually represented as part of Parvati. Parvati and Kali are an example of duality and balance existing within one individual.

Kali exists with Siva as the personified wrath of Parvati or Sita. She comes into being when we need to see the otherwise calm and beautiful Parvati be fierce. While Parvati is known for her beauty and quiet grace, Kali is known for a terrible and frightening appearance. Even when compared to Siva’s most terrible forms, she surpasses his wild appearance. “She is always black or dark, usually naked, and has long, disheveled hair. She is adorned with severed arms as a girdle, freshly cut heads as a necklace, children’s corpses as earrings, and serpents as bracelets” (Kinsley, Hindu Goddesses 117). Her nature is fearsome and she enjoys battlefields and cremation grounds. While Parvati calms the wild nature of Siva, Kali intensifies it. In fact, Siva is the one that needs to calm Kali’s wild behavior. In their relationship, they are depicted “in situations where either or both behave in disruptive ways, inciting each other, or in which Kali in her wild activity dominates an inactive or sometimes dead Siva” (Kinsley, Hindu Goddesses 119). When they are together, she is always extreme and uncontrollable.

While Parvati tries to tame Siva, Kali compliments his destructive habits and madness, bringing them to even higher levels, the opposite of balance. She is seen in most images as dominant over Siva, often standing on his body. She is never “subdued by him and is most popularly represented as a being who is uncontrollable and more apt to provoke Siva to dangerous activity than to be controlled by him” (Kinsley, Hindu Goddesses 120). She is the one that needs taming, even in her role as demon slayer, which one would think would help bring balance. In battle, Kali becomes so drunk on blood that she becomes out of control and must be subdued or she may just destroy the world. Balance in these situations is attained by the intervention of Siva.

Duality and Balance

Through the relationships of Siva and Parvati, Siva and Kali, and Kali and Parvati the theme that we see over and over again is the existence of duality and the need for balance. Balance between the spiritual and social worlds with Siva and Parvati is important in Hindu culture since the stress towards living a spiritual life would almost suggest a break from the world of the household but balance is actually the message, not just renunciation. “Both renunciation of action ant the selfless performance of action lead to the supreme goal. But the path of action is better than renunciation” (Easwaran 29). Balance between out of control, destructive behavior and the need to have that destruction reigned in as seen with Siva and Kali is important since Siva’s destruction is meant so that a better world can be created not the entire world destroyed. Finally, the balance of independence and interdependence, wild destruction and calm house making, and beauty and terror are seen in one being with Kali and Parvati which demonstrates how we all have the capabilities of extremes within ourselves.

“It is sometimes said that Indian culture generally betrays a love for extremes, that moderation and balance tend to get lost in the Indian tendency to exploit everything to its ultimate limit” (Kinsley, Freedom from Death in the Worship of Kali 183-207). However, it is in these dual natural extremes that we see balance. Siva, Parvati, and Kali are extreme in nature but together they have balance. Humans and the gods and goddesses of Hindu myths have dual natures that contain extremes and balance. It is by nurturing different aspects of our natures that we become more to one extreme or the other. Often, it is the people we surround ourselves with that causes us to be either more extreme or balanced, like demonstrated by the relationships of Siva with Parvati and Kali.

Even though it may appear that the Indian culture has a love for extreme, I believe it is the western culture that actually embraces extremes, or absolutes. As demonstrated, the relationships of these three Hindu deities show a desire for balance, they show complex characters that contain dualities and balance. It is the dominant, western religion, Christianity, the non-human characters are extreme; Satan is purely evil and the personification of god, Jesus, is purely good and without sin. Even the actions taken by god in Christianity are extreme; when Adam and Eve commit the first sin, they are cast out into the wilderness; when the society is too corrupt, a flood is sent to wipe out all of humanity and life save for one family and pairs of each animal. This is why it is so difficult for westerners to comprehend the wholeness, the dualities that exist in Hindu deities. It is hard to think of a supreme being as both out of control and stable. For the western mind, these deities are too human which makes them hard to understand or respect. That is why, even with Devi, it is hard for a westerner to grasp that she is both Parvati, the householder, and Kali, the bloodthirsty warrior. The duality of the gods and goddesses in Hinduism doesn’t lessen their importance, it increases their ability to be relatable and makes the lessons from their myths relatable to our lives.

There are two lessons shown through these relationships, balance and duality. First, is duality; all humans have duality, we are not extreme. This is important to remember when dealing with each other and when reflecting on ourselves. We can be less judgmental by remembering that everyone has a dual nature and is struggling towards the second lesson which is balance; balance within the individual and balance in relationships. Balance is necessary within the individual, without balance there is dissatisfaction and unhappiness. It must also exist in a relationship or there will be the same result of dissatisfaction and unhappiness and often the termination of the relationship. Sometimes qualities can shift back and forth between the individuals in a relationship, as we see with the shift of Parvati to Kali with Siva but tension and balance must exist.

Balance and embracing our own duality can lead to a happier, more enlightened life. The Bhagavad Gita tell us “they live in freedom who have gone beyond the dualities of life. Competing with no one, they are alike in success and failure and contend with whatever comes to them” (Easwaran 25). We can be happier with who we are because even when we fall short, we know we have the qualities to be better. When we feel overly proud that we have a specific “good” attribute we can become more humble by recognizing that we also contain the “negative” attribute as well. By recognizing duality in others and having less judgment or comparison to them, we can be happier with who we are and who they are.

I would like to end with one of my favorite quotes from The Bhagavad Gita. “It is better to strive in one’s own dharma than to succeed in the dharma of another. Nothing is ever lost in following one’s dharma, but competition in another’s dharma breeds fear and insecurity” (Easwaran 21).  This relates to the messages of balance and duality. We need to recognize and embrace both our inner Parvati and Kali. Even if others may see one trait as better than another, it is within ourselves that we need to strive to succeed, not in the eyes of others. It is not competition or scrutiny of others that will make us happy. All people must strive to contend within their own dharma and understand their own duality in order to maintain balance and attain true joy and spiritual enlightenment and these are the lessons I learned from studying Siva, Parvati, and Kali.

Works Cited

 

Easwaran, Eknath. The Bhagavad Gita. 1st edition. New York: Vintage Books, 1985. Print.

Handelman, Don. “Myths of Murugan: Asymmetry and Hierarchy in a South Indian Puranic .” History of Religions. 27.2 (1987): 133-170. Web. 21 Dec. 2013. <http://www.jstor.org/stable/1062666&gt;.

Kinsley, David. “Freedom from Death in the Worship of Kali.” Numen. 22.3 (1975): 183-207. Web. 21 Dec. 2013. <http://www.jstor.org.pgi.idm.oclc.org/stable/3269544&gt;.

Kinsley, David. Hindu Goddesses: Visions of the Divine Feminine in the Hindu Religious Tradition. Berkeley, Los Angeles, and London: University of California Press, 1988. Print.

O’Flaherty, Wendy. “Asceticism and Sexuality in the Mythology of Siva, Part I.” History of Religions. 8.4 (1969): 300-337. Web. 21 Dec. 2013. <http://www.jstor.org/stable/1062019&gt;.

Yocum, Glenn. Hymns to the Dancing Siva: A Study of Manikkavacakar’s Tirubacakum. Columbia, Missouri: South Asia Books, 1982. Print.

Zimmer, Heinrich, and Joseph Campbell. Myths and Symbols in Indian Art and Civilization. Eighth printing. Princeton: Princeton University Press, 1992. Print.

Storytellers: Weekend retreat for women with a story to tell

~ TracyMarrs ~ 1 Comment

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

     I lived most of my life with untold stories inside of me. I wouldn’t acknowledge the stories from my past and was afraid to believe in stories for the future. This was a painful way to live because I wasn’t my true self. It took years of studying mythologies and depth psychology to begin to understand the importance of our stories. Once I embraced my stories – both lived and unlived – life began to change in ways I had not before imagined possible. I was no longer content to live the life that was easy. I wanted a life that was interesting and fulfilling. I learned how to write my story and actually live it! I had control of my life. It wasn’t easy, in fact it was terrifying, and continues to be an ongoing journey but the rewards are certainly worth the effort. In fact, the effort has been its own reward. I invite you to join us for a weekend of self-discovery to find out what stories need to be told and how to tell them to shape a better future.

Our speakers Juile Paegle, Kathy Jaffe, and myself, Tracy Marrs are enthusiastically preparing meaningful experiences for our exciting weekend focusing on the power of words. You don’t need to be a writer to have a story to tell but if you want to write, Julie and myself have years of experience guiding writers of all levels to awaken their untold stories and make them alive on the page. Oftentimes, facing these stories can be difficult, Kathy is a licensed therapist with a background in word power and living mindfully. Her experiences and training give her the ability to help others as they navigate their narratives to find their authentic selves.

If things get a little too cerebral, take a break and go for a swim in the pool, relax on the deck and listen to the birds, or wander along the many scenic trails, on your own or with a friend. Also, make sure to take time to quiet the mind and stretch the body with our amazing yoga instructor. Stories can heal the past, enrich the present and comfort and inspire us for the future. Your story is important – let us help you find it, express it, and live it.

September 16-18, 2016

Camp de Benneville Pines

 

C.G. Jung and victim mentality

~ TracyMarrs ~ Leave a comment


“It is often tragic to see how blatantly a man bungles his own life and the lives of others yet remains totally incapable of seeing how much the whole tragedy originates in himself, and how he continually feeds it and keeps it going.  Not consciously, of course – for consciously he is engaged in bewailing and cursing a faithless world that recedes further and further in the distance.  Rather, it is an unconscious factor which spins the illusions that veil his world.  And what is being spun is a cocoon, which in the end will completely envelop him”  Carl Jung, “The Shadow” CW 9 ii, par 19.

This quote came up in my reading this morning.  It articulates the victim mentality that is so prevalent in society. Instead of being active and taking responsibility for one’s life – past, present, and future – the victim sees their situation as something that happened to them.  Since the victims do not see that they are the cause of their situation, they also do not see that they are the solution.  In their mind, it is the world that causes their misery so the world must change for the misery to end.  Change needs to come from within.  To take control of one’s life means to also take responsibility.  When a person lives passively they give up control.  They let the circumstance determine their attitude. Attitude determines outcome, not circumstance.  Active living means controlling your attitude regardless of circumstances in order to create the desired outcome.  

This quote also points to what is frustrating in the study (both formal and informal) of psychology – how easy it becomes to recognize the illusions that others create that hinder their personal growth but how difficult it can be to see through our own veils.

Transformation: Amduat, the college student, and the river that unites them

~ TracyMarrs ~ 5 Comments

Sixth hour images

6th hout

moment of the spark creation of consciousness

Seventh hour

7_Hour.jpg2.jpg

The Greek philosopher, Heraclitus wrote “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.” This quote unites the river and man as both experiencing change but the connection between the soul and the river go far beyond their inability to escape change. For ancient Egyptians, the Nile River was life. More than just a metaphor, the river brought life and death. It was the soul of Egypt. Ancient Egyptians knew that the river and the soul were natural and could not be controlled but they were not passive with this knowledge. One reason the Ancient Egyptians thrived for longer than any other known society is that they were active in their quest for wisdom and growth. They had core knowledge and they made sure that people knew these secrets to life and living. Egyptian civilization centered on the cycles of the river just as life of the individual is determined by the state of the soul. The Nile was studied and tended to, in order to maximize growth and minimize risks. Similarly, they studied the soul. They monitored the soul and tended it just as they did the river. By applying this knowledge, the Egyptians didn’t merely survive, they continually blossomed. The value of this knowledge did not escape the Egyptians. They made sure to record it to guide those that wished to follow the same path and to further their society.

The crucial knowledge for life and growth was recorded in multiple forms and texts. The Amduat is one of the oldest texts to record the knowledge of transformative growth. It shows Re, the sun god, as he journeys from sunset to sunrise. It is a guide for the afterlife but afterlife can’t be known. The idea of an afterlife is an attempt to create immortality. The attempt to understand the afterlife comes from the knowledge that time is limited. The idea that the body is mortal yet the soul lives on forever offers people the hope that part of them will not perish. A possible extension of existence gives people meaning in this life. The only way to attempt to understand the afterlife is to look at it as a reflection of life. Examining the Amduat as a reflection on life reveals a great deal of insight on the human psyche. It shows the fear of wasting time, how to continue to grow, the need for social interactions, the need for education, and how to navigate transformations.

The Amduat uses this reflective awareness metaphorically to explain how to grow through transformation. “The Amduat, written 3500 years ago, contains in a nutshell the knowledge necessary to reunite the individual soul with this inner guiding light” (Abt and Hornung, 9). It teaches how to have wisdom. Wisdom is knowing what to do, how to do it, and when it should be done. To have wisdom, a person needs to know themselves, they need to understand their motivation and ability to carry out their ideas. Thousands of years before Freud and Jung gave us the vocabulary for depth psychology, the Egyptians used the story of Re to instruct people how to grow and improve through transformation. Re’s journey through the underworld is not a map for the afterlife, it is a guide for the soul during transformation.

There are three levels for change. These are simple change, transition, and transformation. Simple changes are slight. Like with the water flowing along its path. Most people would look at the river and believe it to be unchanged but it is never the same river. Just like a person may seem the same but the soul is always changing even if the change is not easily recognized. Transitions are more noticeable, like a twist in the river’s path that causes a change in direction. Finally, there is transformation. Transformation is more than a change in direction. It is more like the river that goes underground and resurfaces in a new place. Transformation requires an individual to dive down into unconscious to gain knowledge, learn to accept and incorporate this knowledge, and finally to rise back up to the surface as a new person. Changes, transitions, and transformations are natural. In order to thrive and avoid death, the Egyptians learned the natural paths for growth, both agriculturally and psychologically.

Changes, transitions, and transformations of the soul can be understood through the river. They need to occur for the health of the river and soul. There is no way to escape change. If the water in the river did not flow, it would become stale and cluttered with weeds and algae. It would cease to exist as a river. In the same way, the soul of a person needs to flow or it can become stale and cluttered. The soul and the river can change, transition, and even transform without intervention. If a person just stands in the river, the water will continue to move by them. Life in the form of rain or drought can cause dramatic transformations to occur. The question is what type of transformations will occur. Passive living allows for the currents to deliver life giving water but it also opens a person up to being swallowed by the tides. The river, like the soul, may be just fine following the natural path. However, when the risks are so high, it seems foolish not to take action so the changes create growth instead of destruction.

How can a person create change? Manipulating change effectively and achieving the desired results takes time. Time to acquire knowledge and complete the action necessary for the chosen outcome. Effective change can’t be done with knowledge or action alone, it requires both. A person can know what to do but without actually doing what needs to be done, thus making the knowledge useless. The mere knowledge of how to divert the water from the river to the fields will not get the water where it should be. It takes the work of digging the trenches and constant monitoring for changes to make sure the water continues to flow. On the other hand, action without knowledge is equally useless. An example of ignorant action would be like trying to divert that same water by digging a hole instead of a trench. It doesn’t matter how hard the person works or how deep they dig, without the knowledge to dig trenches instead of a hole, the action is wasted. Not only does lack of knowledge create impotent action and loss of time, it can cause harm. Transitioning improperly is damaging but transforming badly can be disastrous. It is easier to correct a bend in the river than to redirect water that has gone underground. “The journey into the unconscious – encountering, befriending, and integrating the shadow is not to be undertaken lightly” (Brewi and Brennan, 261). In order to create transformation that inspires growth instead of decay, a person needs informed action. Ignorant actions won’t always lead to despair but without growth, they have no meaning. Similarly, knowledge without action can’t grow and will cause the person to remain stuck and unsatisfied.

Transformation requires knowledge and action. For a soul to continue to grow, a person needs to cycle between action and knowledge. A person needs ignorant action to gain the insight that they need knowledge. Once they gain knowledge, they will need to use that knowledge to perform informed actions since knowledge without action has no point. The new action will lead to knowledge through experience but it will also lead to mistakes which should make the person seek knowledge to improve and so on until death. This is why it takes time to become wise. It requires the cycle of action and knowledge. Wisdom is the ability know how to apply knowledge to action. Society needs this wisdom to thrive. Acquiring knowledge and applying it are the quickest ways to reach wisdom. For society to continue to grow, it needs people to reach wisdom at a younger age so people can apply it for the benefit of the society for a longer period of time and continue to grow. With more time, the amount of wisdom a person can achieve is greater. There is a French proverb that has also been credited to Sigmund Freud that expresses the need for early wisdom. “Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait – If youth knew! If age could!”  This is saying if only we could have wisdom earlier in life so we had time to apply it and increase the time to gain more knowledge and insights. The purpose of education is to make the person better than their old self and increase knowledge and wisdom in a society. By lifting up others, we all rise.

The two sources of knowledge are experience and social interactions. A person can gain knowledge through experience, a series of trial and errors. This is the hardest, most time consuming, and least successful way to gain knowledge because it requires experimentation through ignorant actions. Ignorant actions can lead to insight but they can also lead to cycles of ignorance and despair. The other way to gain knowledge is through others. By learning from others, a person saves themselves time, heartache, and general overall stress. The realization for an individual that they do not have to do it alone, that others have had a same experience, helps to make transformation more tolerable. Egyptians recognized the need for social knowledge transmission which a reason they permanently recorded texts like the Amduat, to light the way.

The Amduat shows that people need people to grow.   Some people may argue that a person can be self-educated or that the knowledge exists within the soul, a person just needs to access that knowledge. Even personal journeys to enlightenment are social experiences. To unlock inner knowledge a person needs the keys. The keys are only available from others; directly or through art, writing, and other forms of recorded knowledge. Reading requires a writer, a painting needs a painter, and a piece of music needs a composer. Since learning is social, the type of knowledge a person will acquire is dependent upon their society. The more wisdom within the society, the easier it will be for an individual to also gain wisdom and contribute to the wisdom of the world. The knowledge we gain from others could be flawed and following it leads to problems. This is why people seeking knowledge are best served entering societies with others that are seeking knowledge.   By participating in a society of knowledge, a person will more easily learn how gain meaningful knowledge and how to apply it. The best place to find a society of knowledge seekers is to go to school. In America, school is required for preliminary instruction of young people but formal education after this point can dramatically aid in growth and living a fulfilling life.

The goal of college is change. I have never heard of anyone that went to college so that they would have the same life and way of thinking as they when they entered. Education is about opening doors. It opens doors within the mind, soul, and society. There are many motivators to go to school. Some of these motivators include societal expectations of college as the next, natural step from high school, a person may want to improve their employment opportunities, they may simply want gain knowledge, or a parent may want to set an example for their kids to pursue education. One thing all of these motivations are the same – they all open doors. The Amduat is about opening doors. Re moves through gates as he progresses through the subconscious. College requires gaining knowledge but it also requires applying that knowledge to the self. During college, people determine their future path. They learn their strengths and weaknesses. They learn to have confidence in their knowledge so that it can lead to action. It is a period of great excitement and danger. Facing the self, taking action into the future, and growing are not easy. A soul can easily become lost. Texts like the Amduat can help.

As a text about transformation, the Amduat details the soul’s journey through the world of night. The Sungod, the conscious self goes through death and descent where he is united with his brother, Osiris, the subconscious and ascends whole and renewed to the world. Thousands of years after the Amduat was recorded, Jung also used the journey of the sun to illustrate the process of a midlife experience. He explained that the sun shines it light on the world (action) but then reaches a zenith and finds it necessary to turn that light back in to the self (knowledge) in order to become wise and experience satisfaction in the second half of life (informed action). As a person in the middle part of life, I agree with this analogy but I disagree that it is limited to a specified period of life. There are biological factors involved with the midlife experience that make that specific transformation unique but transformations occur through life. Just like the journey of the sun occurs every day, a person has to go through transformation through life in order to continue to grow and avoid stagnation and dissatisfaction of the soul.

The Amduat is recorded as a combination of hieroglyphics and text which makes it especially rich. It is like the text is talking to the conscious, logical part of the person but the hieroglyphs speak to the soul what words can’t convey. Each register contains incredible insight into the psyche. Due to the density of the material, I will limit myself to elements of the sixth and seventh hours and how they mirror the experience of college students undergoing transformation. These hours address the obstacles of growth. Many students that start college do not make it to graduation. Each person has their own set of obstacles to overcome in order to succeed in college. In Amduat, these obstacles are identified as Apopis. Apopis is appears in the seventh hour as a giant snake. Apopis doesn’t want Re to unite with himself. Apopis are the people that don’t want others to succeed. It is the flat tire on the way to a final exam. Apopis is all the things that block transformative growth. While the obstacles are limitless, they can be divided into two categories, external and internal.

External obstacles are the things outside the self that get in the way of education. These include financial difficulties, lack of support or even resistance from a social group, and health problems. These obstacles are real but that doesn’t mean that a person has to let them block the path. Obstacles make the path more difficult but overcoming those obstacles helps a person in gaining both knowledge and confidence to take further action toward growth. Obstacles can be seen as something that holds a person back or as the very things that cause growth. It takes wisdom to resist getting held back by obstacles. Since the college student is seeking wisdom, they need to get the knowledge from others. In order to learn how to get funding for education, how to deal with the people that hold others back, and how to prioritize obligations are all things college students can learn from others. Colleges have counseling centers specifically trained to help students navigate the path but many students do not seek that guidance due to internal obstacles. Passive living is allowing outside obstacles to get in the way of inner growth. This pattern resists taking responsibility for the obstacles as using them as excuses instead of opportunities. “By not accepting personal responsibility for our circumstances, we greatly reduce our power to change them” (Maraboli, 37). Once a person falls into this trap, it takes guidance to gain the knowledge to become free.

Internal obstacles are much more crippling than external forces. In fact, for any excuse to fail, there is a person who proves that it can still be done. External forces are only able to control people because they can’t get past the internal obstacles of fear and ignorance. Ignorance is overcome by knowledge and fear is overcome by taking action and gaining confidence. This is why the answer for overcoming these obstacles is to seek knowledge and take action. In order to gain knowledge a person needs other people to light the way and help defeat Apopis. Apopis is a formidable foe and can’t be overcome alone.

The sixth and seventh hours are the heart of the journey through night. They are the Amduat’s Nile River. It is these two hours where transformation occurs. The first register of the sixth hour contains the spark of knowledge that starts the transformation process. Both hours show the danger of undergoing transformation and the need for others to guide and aid in overcoming obstacles, Apopis. The final register for the seventh hour illustrates how helping others to transform allows others to grow and share in renewal. Together, we rise. Very beautiful message that is may be even more necessary today than ever before. So often, people feel that they have to go through life alone. They may be afraid to admit they need help. They may think asking for help as a weakness. Some people think that in order to prove themselves, they need to do it on their own without help. Whatever reason a person has for not getting help from others the result is a more difficult transformation and most likely not one that will include transformative growth. Without others to guide and support the transforming individual, it is all too easy to get lost and for Apopis to gain power. Receiving help from others is not a weakness or inconvenience; it is an opportunity to turn obstacles into growth for both the receiver and giver. The ability to ask for and receive help is one of my internal obstacles that I continually have to destroy in order to grow. The Amduat helped me to see how receiving guidance and support not only helps me; it is beneficial to the person that gives that guidance and support.

These two hours of the Amduat are crucial knowledge for college students. Seeing their struggles – actually “seeing” them through hieroglyphs that have been around for thousands of years – not only serves to give guidance, it gives hope. I agree with Abt and Hornung that the ability to see the battle with Apopis as an archetypal situation is a profound insight. It can be a transformative insight. The realization that transformative growth is difficult for everyone and that no one is able to do it alone can make difference between quitting and graduating.

The sixth hour is crucial because it is the moment where the soul and the body unite and the action reverses. This is the moment where Abt and Hornung say that consciousness is created, the “very moment of the union of Re and Osiris, the divine eye of the Sungod appears for the first time as a pair of eyes” (80). In the top register there is a small pair of eyes above the head of a lion, Osiris. Osiris represents the subconscious. He is the one that must face the internal Apopis to unite with Re and face the external Apopis. In the central register, Re is sailing along but suddenly there is a break in the action. The center of the entire Amduat is at this physical point. It is lifted, from the rest of the register as if to emphasize the importance of the moment. I think it may even suggest the elevated nature of the scene. It contains the heart of the message, the need for guidance and fortitude in this journey. It is done within the subconscious unlike the barque on the river, like the student enrolling in school that is an outward action and the transformation process is enclosed in the protective embrace of the snakes. This protection is to keep the newly transformed individual for the future battles but also represents the mysterious nature of transformation. It is a process that at this point has to be done internally.

This divine eye is the spark when the student decides to go to school. The transition, the turn in the river, starts here. The text for the Amduat for this moment reads “The Bull with roaring voice rejoices, when Re rests upon his divine eye” (Abt and Hornung, 80). The Bull with the roaring voice is the lion but the roaring voice with rejoice brings to mind Whitman’s barbaric yawp. The spark of consciousness brings an invigorating sense of joy which is needed to sustain Re and Osiris through the next hour of the journey. It is empowering to create a change in direction and actively create an identity. The student begins the journey in the central frame with the barque on the river. Once in school, they begin to gain knowledge but they need to gain wisdom not knowledge or action alone. To turn knowledge and action into transformative growth, the individual needs only to turn to the heart of the Amduat for guidance.

The very center of the mid hour of the Amduat has Thoth, the god of Wisdom in physical form, the baboon, presenting himself in spiritual form, an ibis, to a woman that is hiding eyes behind her back. He needs to surrender his soul in order to gain sight. After the surrender of self, there is a reconnection “with the ancestors’ knowledge and experience of renewal. By respecting the ancestors, the one in need of renewal can find the necessary confidence and mental support” (Abt and Hornung, 83). Once a person meets the shadow, they need to surrender, they need to accept the shadow in order to gain knowledge and growth. On the one side of the woman with the eyes is Thoth. He is seeking the sight. The other side shows generations of pharaohs and a transforming self. This demonstrates that knowledge, sight, can be gained from others and from searching the self. Adler explains that it is in these times of transformation, when a person is in a new situation that the self is exposed. The transforming self since it is exposed is especially fragile requires protection from Apopis. This register gives the key to success in college. The difference between acquiring knowledge and developing wisdom. Wisdom is acquired from others, the past, and the discovery of the new self. Achieving wisdom is achieving a transformative growth. This is the goal of college.   “The rekindling and self-generation of the young light is a moment of great danger” (Abt and Hornung, 90). The sense of danger continues to the lower corner of the bottom register where the snakes are lined up with their knives. The sense of an impending battle is strong as Re moves into the seventh hour, the confrontation with Apopis.

The seventh hour is exciting and beautiful. It is in this hour that both Osiris and Re triumph over Apopis with the help others and unite to become a renewed being. Up to the sixth hour, the river ran its course. Then the person gets the spark of awareness and the river changes direction. As Thoth offers up the soul, the river has surrenders itself to go underground. There the river encounters rocks and other obstacles but in this analogy, it also connects with a hidden underground river and the two unite and rise up together, a new river. Like the river, the self gains wisdom by going down in the subconscious, uniting with the hidden waters within, facing obstacles, and rising renewed. The difference, as shown in the Amduat, between the transformation of a river and that of a soul is that soul transformation requires outside assistance. It can’t be done alone.

The top and middle registers are of Osiris and Re facing their enemies. Osiris is first to face his enemies but with both brothers, we see that they are not the ones performing the action. They are in their protective Mehen-serpents. Abt and Hornung suggest that this protection is confidence from making it to this point in the journey. It also fits for a college student. There is a sense of confidence that comes from being in school. The label of college student is an outward sign that the individual is in a quest for transformation. It is a sign that the person wants growth, they want something more, and they are active to make change. However, it is not all smooth sailing. The inner doubts begin to attack the soul. Many people experience feelings of inferiority and may set standards that are impossible to reach which guarantees failure. It is crucial for the person to complete the journey. Not every person needs to go to college but when a person decides to go to college but doesn’t finish they must carry that dream unfulfilled. Once a transformation is started, it has to be completed in order for the person to grow without regret. Without a complete transformation, part of the river remains underground and becomes an obstacle in future transformations.

It is important that Osiris triumphs over his enemies first. In order to overcome the external obstacles, the self needs to have inner fortitude from defeating these enemies. In order to succeed, a person has to be determined not to fail. They need to have determination that they will make it through no matter what before they encounter Apopis. Without this inner strength, Apopis has a better chance to stifle growth.

Life is change. Things will happen in life while the student is in school. The successful student has already defeated the inner Apopis. In reality, this is an ongoing process but the initial battle has been won which strengthens the individual against future attacks. Once Osiris triumphs, once the student has gained confidence that they can succeed they have to make the decision that they will succeed and take action to make it happen. The knowledge and action in the mind then connects to knowledge and action toward the external forces. This unity is what makes the individual strong enough to face Apopis. It gives a person the keys to life’s secrets. Without success in the subconscious, external obstacles will easily stop a student from succeeding and often it won’t even take external forces. “He or she will be the tragic victim of horrible devouring emotions … Apopis will succeed in preventing the individual, but also a society, from achieving any further development or metamorphosis. The result is psychic stagnation” (Abt and Hornung, 93). The person becomes stuck. They started the transformation process and they turned the light in. Instead of accepting themselves for their perceived strengths and weakness, they allow the weakness to cripple their progress. Obstacles and insecurities are opportunities for growth. When a person recognizes this they don’t let the “problems” of life of life stop them, they use those problems to create solutions.

As I briefly mentioned, the brothers do not defeat their obstacles on their own. In both registers, it is others that have stabbed, decapitated, and done general violence to the enemies of Re and Osiris, including Apopis. This is to let the person know that they are not alone and they need others to get past obstacles. It is in the middle register of the sun where the slain Apopis is presented to the god. This is the outside sign that the obstacles have been overcome and destroyed. The final death of Apopis is graduation for the college student. Osiris and Re have united and fulfilled their destined mutual healing. Re does not rise up as Re, he is new because he is the consciousness merged with Osiris, the unconscious. The transformation is complete which leads to the bottom register.

This is where this hour becomes beautiful. In this register, the renewed Sungod is seated in front of many stars that are sent on their way. “They proceed before the sun to the eastern horizon and share in the renewal” (Abt and Hornung, 94). By going through transformation and gaining wisdom, the college student doesn’t rise up alone. They are joined by the people that helped them achieve that goal. It is through each other that we rise up and gain wisdom. It is through each other that we grow as a society.

 

 

Works Cited

 

Abt, Theodor, and Hornung, Erik. Knowledge for the Afterlife: The Egyptian Amduat – A Quest for Immortality. Zurich: Living Human Heritage Publications, 2003. Print.

 

Brewi, Janice, and Anne Brennan. “Emergence of the Shadow in Midlife.” Meeting the Shadow: The Hidden Power of the Dark Side of Human Nature. By Connie Zweig and Jeremiah Abrams. New York: Putnam, 1991. 260-61. Print.

 

Heraclitus. “A Quote by Heraclitus.” Goodreads. Web. 25 Mar. 2016. <http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/117526-no-man-ever-steps-in-the-same-river-twice-for&gt;.

 

Jung, C.G. Modern Man in Search of a Soul. New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 1955. Print.

 

Maraboli, Steve. Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience. Port Washington, NY: Better Today, 2013. Print.

 

“Si Jeunesse Savait, Si Vieillesse Pouvait.” If Youth but Knew; If [old] Age but Could. Web. 25 Mar. 2016. <http://www.proz.com/kudoz/french_to_english/art_literary/144795-si_jeunesse_savait_si_vieillesse_pouvait.html&gt;.